Why did the lazy idiot cross the road?

Walking to the pedestrian crossing, there was an idiot lolling against the light pole waiting for them to change. Except they never would, because she hadn't pressed the button. Hence she was an idiot. The traffic was really heavy, so I don't know what she thought would happen.

I do hate this sort of lazy person. So I reached around and pressed the button, announcing loudly "I do find that these things work a lot better if you actually press the button".

Lights then changed instantly and I crossed. Hearing slack-jaw responses from the idiot, I turned and replied "Say whatever you want, but the only reason you are crossing this road is because of me." Idiot had no reply to that.

Why do some people think that the traffic will part for them like the Red sea for Moses rather than pressing that really easy button?

Spam, Spam, horrible Spam

Most updates these days seem to be quite brief and go out via the Twitter account. But sometimes something needs a few more than 128 characters for justice to be done.

I cannot be the only person experiencing a huge spike in scamming spam and phishing texts and emails? It has gone from a low-level couple a week to around twenty a day, and for the first time these leaching scum are firing them off as text messages too. Clearly they are spamming every number combination possible via a computer, but it does beg one big question: There must be people falling for these obvious scams.

Call me harsh, but anyone who thinks that they have won a lottery they never entered is clearly a fool. I have no time for anyone actually falling for some of the more obvious scams. However the other favourites are spammers trying to cash in on ambulance chasing claims or loan insurance claims. I've lost count of the number of spam messages that claim that my "loan application has been approved" or that I could "claim back £2560 on [my] PPI policy" (I do not nor never have had one). It's getting really old really quickly.

There is an urge to fire back a "sod off you scummy scrotey bottom-feeder" message, but I know such things are futile. At best all they will do is confirm to these leaching scum that the number or email address is live, and will therefore only attract more of this worthless junk.

Accidentally famous. Sort of.

Well I'll be covered in eggs and flour and baked in the oven for twenty minutes! I went around to my sister's house for her birthday bash, and was presented with a copy of the Bolton Evening News newspaper. There with a large chunk of a page to itself was a lovely photograph of me stood between the Mayor and Mayoress of Bolton when I presented them with copies of my books for the town's main library. I'd almost forgotton about that as it happened a little while ago.

If that hadn't been spotted by some-one who knew me, I might never have known that I'd used up a little more of my allotted five minutes of fame. I've not found an online link to the story on the BEN website yet though. I'm sure some internet sleuth will find it and post it here before I manage it though.

Too much info!

I have finally succumbed and at the request (read: repeated requests) of my publisher, I have joined the world of Twitter. Believe me, I'm not proud!

Apparently my screen name or whatever it gets called on this internet contraption is: @JenniferKirk667

Don't ask where the 667 comes from - it's origin is lost in the mists of time. Suffice to say that it is not because 666 other people really wanted the 'JenniferKirk' tag before I got in, late on the scene as per usual.