The week that was and will be.

I've been very busy this week. It's amazing how sometimes a week comes up that throws a lot at you, then others give you a little more breathing space to work with. As regular readers of this blog will know we have been struggling with problems caused by the former mortgage provider openly perpetrating disability discrimination. I made a complaint, which they have sent a response completely (and conveniently) ignoring all the points raised, and claiming that they "find no evidence". It turns out that the reason that they found no evidence was because they didn't bother looking as I discovered when I asked them about if they had reviewed the logs of the calls. Apparently looking for these things was something the complaint manager hadn't thought of.

It's all stress and hassle. I was told that marriage and house buying are the two most stressful things anyone will do in their lifetime. Actually, marriage wasn't too bad (though the week before hand got a little touch and go - Ed Byrne shares my views on the planning of marriages). But house buying has proven to be a real Satan's handbag of an affair. Still, we're getting there and within a month or so I should be sitting in my cosy new living room hammering holes in my wall and laughing at this whole episode. I look forward to the time. The holes in the wall, incidentally, are because they will be MY walls as opposed to the walls here which belong to a chap from somewhere in Grimsby.

Tuesday and Wednesday I got an interesting interlude. In my occasional chronicles of the loneliness of the long distance trucker, I do a little rig jockeying from time to time. I haven't done a night out in nearly seven years, but I thought it would make a change. I actually ended up delivering boiler tubes to the Tanfield railway and the Weardale railway for use in steam locomotive restoration. Now if only I had had a camera. Actually, I did but because it's tucked away inside my telephone it took me until Wednesday to realise this.

Those who know me know my aversion to mobile phones. I hate them and have done ever since the wretched devices first turned up. I had top have one for my first job back in 2000, but it didn't mean that I had to like them. That first one was ancient when I got to it and I am very proud of the fact that I have existed on hand-me-down phones and pay as you go sim cards for all this time. Actually, I believe I still have my original number acquired in 2000.

I hate people who insist on calling my mobile in preference to my landline. I give out my landline because I want to be called on it. My mobile phone is for emergency matters of national importance only. I do not appreciate frivolous calls on it because of several reasons. Firstly, I just don't like mobile phones. Secondly, I use old phones that have questionable battery life so having some call centre drone on the line is sucking the life force from the phone that I may urgently need if there is a real problem that does not involve the purchase of double glazing, a conservatory or any device that the drone calls 'premium' but I call 'the golden cock model'. Thirdly I do not have one of those devices for communing with the mothership so if I am driving its ringing irritates me because I cannot and will not answer it. I'm sure that there is a little spycamera in the damn thing because people just seem to know the most inconvenient time to call it like the moment I have JUST PULLED ONTO THE MOTORWAY. I hate you, mystery caller yesterday. If it was important you would have left a message, but you didn't.

Gosh, that little rant went off on one, didn't it? When I figure out how to gain access to my telephone's digital innards I shall retrieve the lovely pictures I took outside a locomotive works in Wolsingham. Until then, don't call my mobile. No really.

Today we were supposed to be in the Lake District on the south end of lake Windermere. Suffice to say that we are not because of a combination of squalling winds, rain and Zoë's workload. We have decided that instead we will chose a day from next week to go based upon what the weather forecast predicts. It's no fun sailing in the rain, and teaching a newbie to sailing in challenging winds will not exactly add to Zoë's potential enthusiasm for a repeat trip on the RMS Jennïkins. Photographs will be taken of the momentous event of the first official voyage.

This weekend I am away as you all know at the book signing in Preston. I have arranged to stay over Saturday night at the house of some friends which eases the journey. I'm looking forward to meeting and greeting (and signing) but go easy on me because I'll be doing this signing on my own for the first time on this tour.

Preston Waterstones book signing part 2

This Saturday I will be in Preston signing copies of 'Bringing home the stars' in Preston Waterstones. It was a good venue last time I was there, and I even got to meet Lenny Henry (I never did find out what he was in Preston for).

So come on down and say hello and get your copy of 'Bringing home the stars' signed. Last time I was there they were handing out free sweeties!

Preston Watersones, 11:00 - 16:00 on Saturday 2nd of April.

Testing the water of shillness.

I tried an experiment over the last week, after getting sick of having what I suspected were shill bidders turn up on most things that I put on my Ebay watch list. Instead of 'watching' items, I bookmarked them instead. Two, in fact, and I watchlisted some other items as a comparison.

The result? The watchlisted item attracted 23 bids, and sold for £128.50. The bookmarked only item (so the seller had no indication that I was watching it) attracted no bids and remained unsold at its starting price of £39.99.

My suspicion of seller-related shill bidding just gained some more proof.

It's nice to see 250,000 people in London generously offering to pay extra tax to save public services.

Having seen news of the protests today against public spending cuts, I am left wondering where those protesting were proposing that the money would come from. The country has been left financially on its knees by years of wasteful spending and poor economic management not helped by various bailouts for the banking and housing sectors.

Zoë quipped that it was nice to see 250,000 people offering to pay higher taxes to pay for services. Of course, the reality is that I suspect that an awful lot (if not all?) of those people want public spending cuts to be cancelled but don't want to actually pay anything extra for this. That then brings us around to how these people think things are going to get paid for. We cannot as a nation borrow more - that has already got us into this mess. To do so would be to fecklessly plunge the country into even more issues saving the problems up and multiplying them for the future when they would again need to be addressed. It really would be selfish and irresponsible to saddle future generations with ever increasing debt.

Discussing this in Zoë's office today I likened the situation to like having to pay a debt run up by your parents or Grandparents without ever seeing any benefit for the money. How would any of those 250,000 people like to find that their parents spent a lifetime spending money recklessly, borrowing to buy flash cars, bling and go on expensive holidays on the understanding that their offspring would pick up the tab. That really isn't fair at all. But it seems that some people (a lot of people) have no idea that there isn't a huge pit of money from which cash can just continue to be shovelled out of. It has to come from taxes, plain and simple. The Labour years were years of covert buy now, pay later. Well, later just came.

I found it irritating to see Ed Milliband on the bandwagon denouncing all these cuts. That is somewhat rich coming from a man who was part of the government that caused all these problems through poor fiscal policy and actions. What a hypocrite jumping on this "no to spending cuts" band wagon when he is one of those directly responsible for the very problems causing the cuts.

They might be indecisive.

Over the last few weeks I seem to have gathered quite a collection of letters from the Inland Revenue. I never enjoy getting letters from the IR. It isn't that they are nasty people, but I suspect that no-one likes paying tax. Heck, probably the taxman doesn't like paying tax either.

The letters have turned out to be a motley collection of tax codes. These, if you don't know, are the codes that loosely work out what tax you pay and when and generally get adjusted based on what the IR think you owe them. The first tax code was nice - saying that my tax free allowance had increased. Why, thank you. The next, following hot on its heels a few days later said that actually, it had reduced. Okay. Then, a week later, I had a dreaded 'K' code which means that apparently I now owed the IR a four figure sum which would be collected by taxing all my earnings at a starting rate of 20% with no tax free allowance. Today I have just received a cheque for "tax that [I] have overpaid" along with a letter that explains that in effect the last couple of weeks' correspondence can be filed in the big yellow coloured out tray that the council happily empty into a large lorry every two weeks.

As much as I love to feel that I'm important enough to get lots of post, Mr Tax man, please make up your mind.

Weekend on the rails!

You may have been wondering why all has gone quiet over the last week. Well, I'll tell you: I was away from Friday taking my model railway layout to an exhibition in Nottingham. Those of you who have been following this blog for some time may remember that the layout, 'Grove street yard' was featured in Model Rail issue #143 as well as turning up again in pictures in last month's issue.

I went with my friend Sam on the Friday and set it up ready for the exhibition proper on the Saturday. It's quite easy to put up, as I made sure in building it that it was as simple as possible. A few bolts on a few bits of wood make up the legs and the tops just slot in and away it goes. Everything electrical is integral because I fear electrickery and consequently make it as simple and bullet proof as possible.

The exhibition was vast, with lots of stunning layouts that made me quiver at how amateur mine seemed in comparison. But Sam assured me that my efforts aren't too bad. The Friday allowed for a little wandering about to see the other exhibits. The Nottingham exhibition is one of the bigger in the UK so it was going to be busy on the Saturday and Sunday and we figured that we wouldn't otherwise get much chance to look around.

We were put up in a lovely hotel in Nottingham. Sam and I found ourselves in what appeared to be the Bridal suite on the top floor - we couldn't believe our luck. We got a good view too. You have to love a bathroom that incorporates a steam room in one corner!

The Saturday proved to be as busy as I expected. We got a good feed at the hotel and headed over for a leisurely stroll around the trade stalls. I was surprised to find that people were queuing a fair while before the doors officially opened - some people really are keen! It is quite strange to watch the rush as the doors open - it's rather akin to a tsunami made of people all hurrying to pick over the trade stands for the bargains before anyone else can get to them.

It's a long day to be stood on your feet operating a model railway. I always take a rug to stand on as you would be amazed at how much pain a solid wooden floor in a sports hall otherwise causes in ankles. It still left us both weary by the end of the day. 'Grove street' performed faultlessly with a Hornby class 08 doing almost all of the shunting work. I feel that it is important to keep something moving all of the time, as I know from my own experiences of going to exhibitions that it can get boring looking at a miniature masterpiece where nothing happens for twenty minutes or more. There isn't a timetable for the layout's running (yes, some other exhibits do run to a timetable too - following the real railways). Representing a small industrial backwater, the shunting locos can and do shuffle around just moving wagons from siding to siding in what amounts to a strangely absorbing shunting puzzle.

Pete Waterman was there all day Saturday. I had already asked permission to get the box inlay for a model of one of his locomotives signed by him. He seemed quite an approachable chap, and I gave him a signed copy of 'Bringing home the stars' just to surprise him as a thank you. I wonder if he will read it and, if he does, get in contact to tell me what he thought of it.

The Sunday was very busy too. We suffered no major calamity except for sore legs. At chucking out time it was bizarre to watch how fast fully operational layouts around us started to get stripped down and cleared. Having planned for dismantling and erection when I built 'Grove street' we were packed and away in an hour flat; that even includes the time taken to eat the sandwiches!

All in all an enjoyable weekend where I got to meet and talk to many people, including a few whom I have known online for years but only now got to meet them in person.

Mortgage refused, it appears, because of a disability?

This week has already become hassle. The mortgage provider has withdrawn the provisionally approved mortgage. Why? Because I have a gap in my employment filled by Incapacity Benefit because of a relapse in an illness I have. The illness is a recognised disability which the mortgage provider were made aware of. Apparently because of this, and not because of my earnings (which if I had earnt the same amount over the same period without the period of illness would have been fine), then cancelled the offer of a mortgage AFTER we have had an offer accepted on the house we want to buy.

We are now getting a mortgage via a broker which will be with a different provider. I don't like to particularly talk about my illness in public, but it is a recognised disability and can on occasions become a struggle. However, I was very much under the impression that refusing a mortgage to some-one in this way effectively amounts to direct disability discrimination. The mortgage broker working for the lender refused to talk to us on the telephone and we are still waiting for the branch mortgage advisor to get around to returning our calls.

Rest assured that the bottom-kicking-device will be deployed if the lender fails to respond.

A fuller update for the weekend.

The weekend's signings in the North East went okay, though it is becoming clear to me that the recession is biting and non-essentials are being squeezed in people's purchases. Durham city was very busy on the Saturday, however all the shops seemed quiet. I got the impression that a lot of people were window shopping and were being rather more careful at budgeting what they were buying. I still did okay though in the end. I am finding though that I'm talking to a lot more people who decide in the end not to buy based purely on not being able to justify the spend. With any luck some of these people will convert into sales as they change their minds over the next few weeks.

The MetroCentre was a new venue for me. We got a good welcome, and I took the opportunity to get an hour's shopping in beforehand buying some much needed shoes. I have big feet (size 10 wide fit) so Evans is my usual place of choice. However not all Evans shops actually stock over size 8, even though as a chain they now do up to size 11. Luck was in town and I got two lovely pairs of shoes. I also got to try on a pair of size 11s and experience the rare feeling of floppy clown shoes. I think that I now know how Zoë must feel if she accidentally tries on a pair of my shoes!

The signing though was tougher than Durham had been the day before. Again, lots of people milling in the mall but no-one actually buying much. I talked to lots of people, but had the least number of sales of any venue so far on the signing tour. They do now have plenty of copies in stock though, so I guess that all the people who chatted but bowed out because of being cash strapped have the opportunity to buy over the coming weeks.

We live in strange times economically. Every time I log onto the BBC news site I see another major calamity has befallen the world. How will history remember this period of natural disaster and banker-wanker shenanigans?

Weekend North East signings.

Back-to-back signings all done now. They've gone really well, and I have an extra Waterstone's branch stocking my books!

I'll do a proper post when I've recovered from earache as I've had a reoccurrence of my ear trouble that is making me dizzy and disorientated.

Signings this weekend.

Tomorrow from 10:30am I shall be book signing in Waterstones in Durham. Sunday I shall be signing at Waterstones in the Metro Centre from 12:00.

Is there an agenda with the 2011 census, or just incompetence?

Those in the UK cannot failed to have noticed that a census is afoot. Most people will have received the documents by now. However, question 17 has posed a lot of debate - why leave a question intentionally blank? The answer is obvious if you live in Wales - the question isn't blank, and asks about the form-filler's ability to speak and understand Welsh. But why is this question deemed only valid to those people living within the counties that make up Wales? Welsh is the other official language of this country, so why can't those who speak it but who live elsewhere get their say about it? Do they not matter to the government?

My Mother speaks fluent Welsh, but lives in Bolton and has done now for more time than she lived in Wales. I can understand a little Welsh to get the gist, and speak enough to convince non-Welsh speakers that I can speak Welsh. It smacks of there being an agenda, or at least incompetence, that officialdom seems to think that Welsh doesn't matter beyond the nominal border.

Question 17 should therefore remain on all versions of the census to get an accurate indication of how many people in the country actually do speak the other official language of the place. It seems that so many foreign languages are catered for in the rest of the country, yet Welsh is ignored. My Grandmother had English as a second language though she used it an awful lot. In later life when Dementia set in she regressed and stopped being able to understand English but could still communicate in Welsh. However at the hospitals in Bolton they had no means to provide an interpreter for Welsh though offered a dozen other language options for interpretation. There wasn't even the means to print out any documents in Welsh despite offering them in all the languages that interpreters were being offered for.


Then there's that old chestnut of religion (insert imaginary friend of choice in this box). In the last census Jedi proved a popular choice. But did the government of the day wise up to the significance? Most likely not.

I think that the "No Religion" box would have been more informative and more accurate if it had allowed the following choices:

*Agnostic.
*Atheist.
*No Religion
*Jedi (version one) making a political statement against the inclusion of this question.
*Jedi (version two) too stupid to understand the question and just thinks it's funny.

Personally I list my religion on official forms as "None of your business" and that has served me well up until now. I believe religion is a personal and private business and no-one has a right to force theirs upon anyone else. Why should an invisible friend get you different or special privileges? I thought we were all supposed to be equal these days?

Signings to come in the North East this weekend.

My car has been serviced, but I'm sure that it gets harder every time. I don't think that I am particularly built to crawl under a car any more. Volvo don't make it easy mind, with how the oil filter and sump plug are mounted. There is, however, something quite satisfying about servicing your own car successfully, and saving best part of fifty squids on what the garage would charge.

Saturday is the Durham Waterstones signing. This will be the second time that I have been to this branch. As the manager at Bolton Waterstones said "We need a clean plate!" meaning that he was tongue-in-cheek suggesting that he wanted me to sign every copy in the shop. We didn't quite manage it then, but we have done in three other branches since. Could Durham be #4 for such success?

Sunday sees me at the Metro Centre in Gateshead for a signing at the Waterstones branch there. This is a new venue for me, so I'm looking forward to it - if slightly nervous. I've been to the Metro Centre quite a few times, having lived twice in the North East in the last fifteen years. If memory serves me correctly, it is quite large, on two floors with a mezzanine level in the downstairs. Unless I am mistaken (which I sometimes am - the memory plays tricks on me).

I've found the time to write quite a bit of miscellaneous things over the last few weeks. Nothing particularly finished or on a theme, but I like to keep producing stuff even if I am not showing anyone any of it.

World book day.

As it is World book day, I have decided to post a little about books and authors who have influenced me over the years. I've probably mentioned them before, but here's one convenient post with them all together.

Enid Blyton - The magic faraway tree books.

I loved these as a child. They are simple, yet never forget the core story. I loved their quirkiness. A warning to any publisher she sees fit to vandalise these by editing them: you will never get a pennt of my money again for anything. Only the original Blyton-penned versions are worth reading.

Arthur Ransome - the Swallows and Amazons series

As a child these books fascinated me, and I read them to death. The first book ('Swallows and Amazons') is all right, but there are better ones in the series that do not get the mention that they deserve. 'Missee Lee' is outstanding. 'Great Northern?' (yes the question mark is part of the title) is brilliant too. As the last book of the set I found it to be tinged with a tiny bit of sadness - the children are growing up and it feels like this is their last adventure together. A great book nonetheless.

C.S. Lewis - the Narnia series.

Some I like, some I like less so. 'The Voyage of the Dawntreader' is brilliant, though the last two in the series are my favourites. Earlier books could be a little stodgy in places. Ignore the religious overtones - you don't have to buy into all that to still enjoy them.

Philip K. Dick - Flow my tears the Policeman said

A great book with surreal futuristic done so masterfully. Dick can be a mixed author, but this book is truly one of his best above some of the more famous ones.

Arthur C. Clarke - Rendezvous with Rama.

Forget the follow up books - this is the greatest. An alien book where you never see the alien. Hugely influential to me. Why explain alien technology when you can preserve its weirdness by just telling it as it is! The sense of mystery in this book is artfully done. It's just a shame that he blew it all in the follow up books. Still, no-one makes you read beyond this first book.

Brian Jacques - Redwall trilogy.

In later years Jacques milked it and I don't believe his stuff was so good. But I remember the original Mossflower/Redwall/Mattimeo trilogy well from when they first came out. These books successfully captured some of the essences that had been in other children's books I loved. At the time they were new and innovative and deservedly successful as a result.

Tom Clancy - Red Storm rising

Not all Tom Clancy books are so good, but the earlier ones were truly masterpieces. This one in particular stands out to me by Clancy's stunning balance of technical terms and procedures imparted in a way that neither patronises nor becomes techno-overload. The action is well described and the characters work well. This is a thriller written to usurp all thrillers that have gone before, because it deserves to. From the beginning to the end this one is a real page turner. Don't let its tome-like thickness put you off. It is an accessible and gripping read from beginning to end.

Checking out the RMS Jennikins

It has been a really sunny day today; March the 1st seemed to bring a little change in the weather! I took the opportunity to uncover my boat that has languished under its cover since September last year. It has survived the Winter without calamity, which is good. Only a little water had made it under the cover, and this soon dried off in the sun. What did intrigue me were the three rather sleepy wasps I found under the cover on the foredeck. They had clearly been riding out the Winter under here, but had survived unscathed when the temperatures had reached minus 16 degrees.

There was a surprising amount of dirt on the new white paint on the buoyancy tanks and foredeck. It will clean off though. One little faux pas was my storing of the sailbag with jib, rudder, sail batons and tiller extension in the bottom of the boat. I had to take all those out and dry them out because of trapped moisture. Next year I'll avoid making that mistake and the sailbag with contents has been moved to the kitchen for now.

When I bought the boat it had had the foredeck and outer hull hurriedly (and badly) painted in household blue paint. I really wish the former owner hadn't bothered with the tarting because the paint was totally unsuitable, and it took more work to clear it off the transom and foredeck to do them properly with marine filler and yacht enamel. Just as I predicted, the exposure to freezing conditions and damp has meant that the crap paint on the outer hull has bubbled in places. No doubt it will spend the year slowly removing itself in patches each time I sail it, so the repaint I had budgeted to need to do will take place at the end of this year. I have the proper paint for it, so it's no bad thing.

For those who are interested, the boat is an historic rarity. It is a Bosun built by Bossums, for the Royal navy. However it predates the production Bosuns and is sail number 3 - the earliest known to survive (number 11 may also still exist). The first 16 were prototypes built to try and win the contract with the navy (which they did) and to see what modifications were needed. Consequently there are a few minor detail differences with the production boats. It was new in 1961 and still retains its original issue sail with number 3 on it.