Monday 29 November 2010

Just when you thought I'd learnt

I've re-cracked a rib by means of, of all things, pulling a bottom sheet onto a mattress. The crack was so loud that even Zoë heard it. Looks like I'm back to the beginning on the recovery and Must Learn To Not Do Strenuous Things.

I'll learn eventually. Just whether it will be quick enough for my ribs to heal will be another thing.

Leslie Nielsen passed away.

It is with some sadness that I learnt this morning that actor Leslie Nielsen has died of pneumonia. Some of the first comedy that I watched and loved as a young child was Police Squad. He will be missed, though his influence will live on.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11860014

Sunday 28 November 2010

One giant leap for a trainee moron.

Last week I managed to do the dumbest thing yet. "How did you manage to top the last dumb thing?" I hear you cry. Thanks. Well, my parents are putting in an extension to allow for a larger conservatory. All well and good, but at the moment this entails a large six feet deep hole by the existing conservatory door. Not moments before I investigated new depths of stupidity even for me I had been looking at this hole out of the window.

My parents have three cats, one of whom has the nasty habit of treating building work - especially any sand or fine gravel - as one big kitty en suite. I spied one of these little cute and fluffy poo machines at work, and immediately unlocked the conservatory door to shoo her off. I think you can see where this is going? One small step for woman, one giant fall flat on her face for Jenny.

I don't bounce as well as I used to. It's funny how there was a brief moment after impact where I lay there sprawled in the mud thinking "Shouldn't have done that, stupid". The bruises on my hands and legs came up quite quickly, but surprisingly it was only the following morning that the cracked ribs let themselves be known. There is no bruising whatsoever on my chest, but for a while I could hear and feel noises that should never come from one's own chest every time I sneezed. It has also been hard to take a full breath without pain meaning that I get out of breath fairly quickly. The pain is not as bad as it was a couple of days ago, thanks for asking, but it is still letting me know just how stoooopid I was.

I'm told I should be healed enough to get my little flim-flam machine back on the road looking for the next moronic thing to do within a week or so.

Saturday 27 November 2010

LP Vs CD Vs MP3?

An LP is completely analogue in its sound reproduction, just like actual musical instruments, the speakers on a stereo and, of course, the way the human ear then deciphers these sounds. Making something digital between the actual playing in the recording session and the playback on the stereo was just adding in a middleman. Digital is a stepped response, whereas analogue is a smooth curve between the frequencies. This meant that there were a whole host of subtle frequencies that would be lost in the resolution of a digital disk (CD) that weren't on an analogue one (LP). Add to that that certain very high frequencies and very low frequencies were lost outside of the range of a CD. Whilst these cannot be heard by a human ear as actual discernible sound, they are nonetheless detected and their absence will make music sound somehow not quite right.

The difference in reproduction quality between a cheap turntable/stylus combo and an expensive one is massive; the format's sound reproduction is easily destroyed by the cheap midi turntables that were once so common. The difference between a cheap and expensive CD player is not audibly anywhere near as much, so the average listener would be more likely to hear a poorer reproduction of an LP than they would a CD. The quality of the pressing too could make a massive difference, as cramming each side of the LP with as many grooves as possible, or pressing out of recycled vinyl and pressed thinly would also affect the sound quality. Anyone who has heard anything on the Telstar label, or the last three or four NOW LPs pressed to vinyl will know exactly what a rubbish pressing can sound like! However, 180gram virgin vinyl, with an album typically pressed to two, three or even four disks will give an excellent sound reproduction without any of the "this was recorded down a length of scaffolding tube" sound distortions of cheaper pressings.

I have put it to the test, with CD and LP copies of the same album. We aren't talking old pre-CD mastered copies either - I have Massive Attack's Mezzanine, Röyksopp's Melody AM and Kate Bush's Aerial on both formats each and have played them in a radio studio off a combination of the best Denon Cd players and Technics SL1210s with Ortofon stylii and faded between them for listeners in another room to guess which was which; nearly all guessed wrong assuming that the better bass and treble reproductions must have been coming from the CD. In reality, the difference isn't massive, and a lot of people will not easily tell the difference.

Looking after your LPs makes a difference. They are not as forgiving a format to poor treatment. But a clean and well cared for LP will never pop, crackle or hiss like frying bacon. Incidentally, LPs also out last CDs. One of the biggest issues with CDs is their known lifespan. After a couple of decades (less if stored badly or are defective) they will de-laminate, with atmospheric moisture creeping in from the edges showing up as a slightly milky band. There is nothing that can be done to retrieve a disk that has done this, and once it reaches the portion of the disk where the music is, the CD player's laser will struggle to read the data and ultimately will stop reading it at all. It isn't known how long LPs last; they haven't been around long enough to be certain. I have pressings from the 1950s that are still in good condition and play without surface noise. I also had some CDs from the early 1980s that have all gone to CD de-lamination heaven.

MP3s are just nasty, compressing similar frequencies together in a way that leaves the ear and brain knowing that there is something not fully right when comparing it to either a CD or LP. I also refuse to subscribe to a format that doesn't leave me with an actual physical tangible playback media with sleeve notes I can read through even though I've legitimately paid for it. I've also had too many terminal hard disk failures to trust anything that sits in the magical ether inside my computer.

Thursday 25 November 2010

is the iPad really the new market bigger than everything else?

I’ve just been reading an interesting article over at Alltop about how Richard Branson is intending to launch an iPad-only magazine next week. It raises some interesting issues in my mind.

As you all probably know, my publisher is All Mouse Media Ltd. It may at some point expand into magazines the comic-publishing arm is well and truly established. This makes me interested in why Branson would launch a new magazine that exists solely on one digital format.

The iPad is not the only handheld reading device. It competes with the Kindle, the Sony Reader and probably countless other devices that all want to do the same job for you: serve content in a hand-held format. Surely by limiting himself to one device, he is artificially limiting his market share, and thus the amount of money he can make from this new venture?

But then it hit me: that’s the point.

He’s limited his market on purpose. He’s using the magazine to test the idea that the iPad is the future, or that it has achieved such dominance that it can be a market unto himself. You can’t do that by launching a web magazine with a digital copy, or a print magazine with a digital copy. Your data gets swamped. Similarly, if you want to test the viability of the iPad as a distribution platform, you do it by launching on that device.

Branson has the resources available to launch a magazine that he can kill at any point. He seems to do things like this a lot; moving into areas of business where people say a new venture can’t last (trains, cola, radio, TV, etc) and testing whether that’s true or not. This is just another extension of his standard way of working.

So I’m going to be watching this development with keen eyes. If it proves successful, it could show where the market is going in the future. Print is almost certainly going to become more of a niche market than it already is within the next five to ten years, so it’s time we found where we’re all going to be getting our entertainment from in the future.

Tuesday 23 November 2010

Tweet, tweet.

'I used to be with it'

This is one for all the Twitter devotees amongst you. Just remember this next time you have to rely on Twitter posts as your defence...

Friday 19 November 2010

More dates on the signing tour.

Another signing date is confirmed: Darlington Waterstones on Sunday the 12th of December. That means three signing events in two counties over four days!

Wednesday 17 November 2010

Dates for the signing tour.

A couple more dates for the signing tour have been confirmed today. So far the details are as follows:

* Manchester Deansgate Waterstones - 9th of December
* Durham Waterstones - 11th of December (this should also include a reading/Q&As at 10:30am)
* Preston Waterstones - 22nd January 2011

Also in the pipeline are Darlington Waterstones and Bolton Waterstones that would be repeat visits, following on from successful signing dates in October and November. I think there are a few others that All Mouse Media are trying to arrange, but I haven't heard anything back about these.

Watch this space for more details!

Monday 15 November 2010

Kindle edition of BHTS

The Kindle edition of 'Bringing home the stars' has now appeared on Amazon.

And in case you missed the link it's here!.

Friday 12 November 2010

A little housekeeping and buying abroad.

Sales of 'Bringing home the stars' have been picking up a lot in the last two weeks. I'm hoping that this means that the book signings that I've been doing are having an effect. Even if people don't buy a copy there and then, maybe they are coming back to buy at a later date. As my sister always says of the media: "It's about being seen in the right places with the right people." There's a lot to be said for that.

On the publisher's website there's been a little calamity. Nothing major, but the 'buy it now' buttons disappeared after part of the site was overwritten accidentally with a previous pre-publication version of the pages. I don't think they were away very long, but they are back now. So anyone who has been trying to buy a copy through the publisher over the last couple of days who found they couldn't can now. I would also like to add that there are postage options for buyers in the US too. Whilst the book isn't on general release over there, individuals can buy it this way. It costs £7.50 postage inclusive, or whatever the dollar amount of that is.

Thursday 11 November 2010

Waterstones signings schedule.

This weekend's signing trail leads to Waterstones in Bolton. On Saturday the 13th of November I'll be there chatting and signing copies. Please pop down and say hello, and take the opportunity to pick up a copy of 'Bringing home the stars' if you haven't yet got a copy of it.

In addition, Durham Waterstones are interested in booking me for a signing event. Date and time TBC - watch this space!

Tuesday 9 November 2010

We'll fix it in the rewrite.

Today I have finally managed to find some time to sit down and write something new. Well, nearly new. The promotion for 'Bringing home the stars' has been a toughie, but it's paying dividends. The problem is that that has left me with little time or energy for writing.

I've got ideas, but they've been on the back burner. Today I finally made some time and sat at the computer to work on the rewrite for 'The Atlantic Connection'. The eagle-eyed may notice this book having come and gone a couple of years ago. The story is one of my favourites, but I was less than happy with the way it read. They say publish and be damned, but instead I let it go out of print without being reprinted. Now it's being rewritten in its entirety and will hopefully resemble when it is finished more of the book that I originally envisaged. It's still early days though as I've managed only twenty pages of rewriting today. With the book signing coming up on Saturday, time is going to quickly be pressed again. Still, that's the way a writer's life works. Probably. What the hell do I know?

Christmas shopping, rambling, a glass of cocoa and a basque.

I went and finally started Christmas shopping today. It's hard work, knowing what everyone wants. The trouble with my family is that if they want something they don't pussyfoot around over it, but just make an effort to save up and buy it. What do you get the person who has everything, except perhaps a box to put it all in?

Luckily my parents have, in one super-cool swoop, made things a little easier by purchasing a Wii console. This is nominally for my little nephew who they look after quite a lot whilst my sister is at work. It will live at their house, so it means that they can use it too. So in one groovtastic move both my parents and little Zak can be entertained by Wii magic.

My other little nephew is at that very young age (this will be his first Christmas) where new outfits to wear are welcomed with open arms. They grow so fast at that age, so I guess Christmas and birthdays are a good opportunity to ease the burdon on poor Mummy and Daddy. I also bought Zoë's present. She's easy too; Amazon is the first port of call as she reads a lot of books, watches a lot of DVDs and plays a lot of console games. However, in Sweetens in Bolton they had a sale on which included a lot of Stephen King books with covers to match the set that she has amassed over the years. The wedge of paper that I have subsequently bought for her looks impressive to say the least!

Whilst in Marks & Spencer though I spotted something that really caught my eye. I was actually shopping for a present for some-one else, but my eye was drawn to the most gorgeous of basques. Now, anyone who has followed my witterings on the internet and in print for quite some time must be aware that I love lingerie. Not cheap tat, but the good stuff that's elegant and feminine. In particular, I love basques. I know that feminists will be engaging in synchronised tutting about now, but I love to know that my underwear is up to scratch and guaranteed to have any heterosexual man's pulse racing, if he knew. That said, few men ever get to see what I wear under the overwear, but I'm happy knowing that it's there. When I was a child my Mother instilled the importance of matching underwear in case I "got run over by a bus" - how pessimistic. Still, it worked because I've been wearing matching three part sets* ever since - no A&E orderly will be laughing at my choice of smalls any time soon.

The only problem is that it is £40. All I can hope is that either I get rich, and quick! Or that some turn up in the sales and I can snaffle one in my size. For those who want a link, it's here. Maybe some-one important at M&S will take pity and send this Z-list non-celebrity a free sample? I should coco.

*Yes boys, that does mean the thing that holds up stockings.

Friday 5 November 2010

Do it in the trashcan, Earthman; this ship is brand new!

Last night Zoë went out to a NaNoWriMo meet in Manchester. The trip there was fraught with the usual public transport woes, but eventually she made it. I gather she had a good evening that culminated in hitting a bar for a few scoops with friends. Of course, that's where the troubles just got started.

She missed the last train home, after having not heard her phone ring five times from me over the previous three hours. So at 11:45pm I had to get dressed and head off into Manchester in the car to pick her up. At Victoria station she was waiting, looking a little worse for wear. Apparently there were three pints of Lager inside her on an empty stomach, and a packet of chips that had been a vain attempt to soak some of the booze up. It's probably as well she didn't make the train, as they would have most likely chucked her out after she turned all Technicolor yawn.

Instead the yawn occured on the A6. I do apologise to the rather startled dog walker (it's your own fault for being out past midnight in the pouring rain!) who probably got a splattering. They can rest easier knowing that the car came off worse. What didn't pebble dash the side ran down the door on the inside and over the seat. We stopped at a layby where I knew how drunk she was by the frequency of the apologies. I got her home though in the end.

This morning after a wipe over of the car, we were out to a house viewing. It did not go well, as Zoë was feeling really rotten. On the way there she was ill again, onto her lap and proceeded to spend a thoroughly miserable hour waiting in the car because it was probably best that she didn't come around two houses - I guess her heart wouldn't have been in it!

I've got her to bed, and all her clothes are in the wash. The car was a different matter, as try as I might I cannot fit it in Zannussi's finest. Stiff work with hot soapy water and a sponge seems to have taken care of it though.

I think it is safe to say that Zoë will be off the sauce for a while!

Thursday 4 November 2010

NaNoWriMo?

I keep getting asked if I'm doing NaNoWriMo. For those who don't know, this is an 'event' that has been running for quite a few years where the object is to write 50,000 words in one month. Essentially, a short book. It is an event that grows in popularity every year, and can only be a good thing to encourage new writers.

I'm not doing it though. Before I start sounding like a sourpuss, the simple reason is that that is not how I write books. For me writing has to be organic, and setting rigid targets just does not fit with how I work. When I'm writing a book, I can often write up to 4,000 words a day. But I have to be inspired and have a project clearly worked out in my head to do that. For me, the writing is something I have to and do approach professionally. If I were to sit down this month and force out 50,000 words then the chances are that I know that it would not be something that was good or that I felt was worth revising. Maybe that does make me sound pretentious? But each person has their own approach to writing, and setting a target for one month of the year isn't my way.

Zoë, however, does NaNoWriMo every year; that train is never late! "Curse of the other world"has been her title for at least the last three years running, and she never seems to be happy with it. Each year she comes back and starts again from scratch. In Zoë's case, my advice would be (and I hope she does consider it) this: write. Keep writing. Don't get bogged down on any one bit. Even if there are parts that you feel are weak, keep going and revise it only when you have a first draft complete. After that you can come back and revise it.

Remember: no book is published as a first draft. They are all edited and go through rewrites to make it good, so you should not feel disappointed if there are bits of your first draft that you aren't happy with.

For the record, I did do NaNoWriMo one year. I just happened to be in the zone for that month so thought "what the hell". I can't for the life of me remember what it was I wrote though, but I think I was happy enough to keep working on it and subsequently edit it long after the month was over.

Tuesday 2 November 2010

Vote in the NRM "Is your model the rail thing?" competition

My photographs of 'Grove street yard' have appeared on the NRM website here. They are set number 10 and you can vote for them by following the instructions at the bottom of the page, sending an email specifying that set as your favourite.

Of course, if you really like some of the others (and there are some astoundingly good pictures in the competition) then it would be morally wrong for me to urge you to blindly vote for me. However; don't ask, don't get.

In summery: Please vote for set #10!

Monday 1 November 2010

All over the house revenge of the ironing board

I just love this comic! There's something about the script that Zoë and I came up with that pushes the ol' snort-coffee-through-nose laugh-o-matic button.

All over the house